POSER COMPLEX

December 2018

 

Recently, my case of Imposter Syndrome (I call it my “Poser Complex”) has gotten worse and worse. None of my accomplishments seem deserved. I don’t think I deserve my job; I believe I’m not qualified. When someone compliments my art, I tell myself “they’re lying to make you feel good”. When I get good grades, I wonder how? I have no idea why my partner would want to date me. I am not hardworking or talented or smart. I feel like a scam. I feel like I’m cheating and somehow getting away with it. I feel like a POSER. I’m fighting my way through this strange headspace, hoping to find a place where I don’t feel like a fraud.

 

Poser Complex represents how I feel on the outside. Trying hard to be someone I’m clearly not. From afar, I can fit in, pass as something I’m not. But the truth is revealed when looked at closely; I am a poser.

“Imposter syndrome can be defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. ‘Imposters’ suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence. They seem unable to internalize their accomplishments; however successful they are in their field”.

 

“Impostor syndrome refers to an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be… it is the experience of feeling like a phony—you feel as though at any moment you are going to be found out as a fraud. That you don't belong where you are, and you only got there through dumb luck”.

 

 

Corkindale, Gill. “Overcoming Imposter Syndrome.” Harvard Business Review, 23 July 2014, hbr.org/2008/05/overcoming-imposter-syndrome.

 

Cuncic, Arlin. “How to Stop Feeling Like an Outsider When You Have Social Anxiety.” Verywell Mind, Dotdash, www.verywellmind.com/imposter-syndrome-and-social-anxiety-disorder-4156469.